Burrow House: fractured fairy tale, part I

Now, 13 year old boys are not typically known for their writing prowess. Mine is no exception. But the following story is so funny, I thought I'd share it.

The assignment was to portray a well known fairy tale in a different light...

Once there were three pigs. When you first saw them, you thought they were innocent, cute little pigs. Bradley, Morgan, and Dylan were not the average pigs. They were actually thieves, pirates, scoundrels, and many other names to go along with those.

I bet you are wondering what part the wolf has in this story? I will tell you. On a dark night, three short huddled figures scurried through the dark alleys of the city. They were hurrying over to a small house on the outskirts, away from passing visitors. Those three huddled figures were part of the biggest thieving system in the world, recruiting the best thieves worldwide.

That night, in that shady house, they talked with their master. Their master never let anybody see his face, always wearing a mask, even when he was meeting his top thieves. Everyone called him stonemason. They called him that because he could break through any wall in the world, without making a single sound. He was that quiet. That night, he told them that the authorities were everywhere, and that they were on to them.

They discussed a way to lead the authorities off their trail, and they came up with a great idea. Why not frame somebody? The pigs knew exactly who to frame too. Who had always tried to eat them? Who was the biggest threat to the pigs’ lives? The three wolf brothers of course. So they decided to frame them.

They decided to rob a place that was really important. Somewhere they could make a lot of money and still be willing to give up a few items by planting them in the wolf’s houses. They decided to rob the queen of England, because she had so many valuable items in her house. They would travel there and back in their private jet.

They left for England that night, with a bag full of their usual break-in tools, and then another bag full of sleeping drugs. They arrived in England at four o’clock in the morning, a good time to start the mission. They took the bag of sleeping drugs to the castle; bypassed security by walking past them casually, and got ready to do what they had to do.

They headed to the kitchen, scurrying through the secret passages in the walls that they had found on their last visit there. They snuck into the kitchen, knowing that if the people were asleep they could do their job more easily. They waited for hours upon hours, until the chefs started cooking dinner. When the chefs started to cook dinner, the pigs would drop sleeping powder in the food every time the chef turned around to do something else. Bradley snuck the powder into the drinks, Morgan snuck the powder into the pudding, and Dylan, being as dimwitted as he is, snuck the powder into the napkins.

To be continued...